When I studied positive psychology (the scientific study of happiness) in college, many lessons stuck with me. For example, money increases happiness only up until a certain threshold, at which point basic needs are satisfied.
Having children decreases momentary happiness, but dramatically improves long-term life satisfaction. A lengthy commute significantly diminishes happiness far more than people may predict. So many interesting findings.
Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, tested various interventions to measure the effects on human happiness. One of the simplest was called three good things in life. "Participants were asked to write down three things that went well each day and their causes every night for one week. In addition, they were asked to provide a causal explanation for each good thing."
They found that completion of this daily exercise "increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms." The positive effects of feeling happier and less depressed were immediate and long-lasting.
In this video, Dr. Seligman, himself, explains the process and why it works:
It's not unlike a gratitude list, but with a slightly different twist. Seligman notes that it's important to not only identify the good thing that happened, but also the cause. Why did this happen? Or why is this a good thing?
If you received praise for something at work or school, is it because you did a good job? Because you put in a lot of time and effort on your project?
If you set a new personal record for your 5-kilometer run, was it your lucky day, or did your training pay off?
If your jeans feel loose, is it because they stretched out, or because you've been choosing to eat high-quality foods?
If you had a nice time catching up with a relative, maybe that's because you took time out of your busy day to invest in your personal relationships.
Maybe a friend did you a favor because you've done so many for them in the past.
Maybe you had a fun afternoon with friends, is it because you were brave enough to suggest an unconventional activity?
Maybe you had a really good nap, a particularly good meal, or an awesome workout. Maybe you can simply be grateful for the things and people you have in life. Is anything good for you?
You get the idea. Don't just say what happened, but also why. Give yourself some credit!
How should you start to get happiness?
1. Choose your medium for journaling. Pick up a basic lined journal to keep on your nightstand, start a new Google Doc, or use a website designed for daily journaling.2. Simply begin! At night before bed, reflect on your day. Identify three good things anything that made you feel happy, grateful, proud, or warm and fuzzy inside that happened over the day. The "things" can be big or small it's up to you.
3. Consider why it happened. Even if you don't have an answer right away, try to figure out why you enjoyed that blessing on this day. This was tricky for me to get used to at first, but do your best and you'll get better at this part. Again, don't be afraid to give yourself credit! Or, sometimes you might simply think that someone up there is smiling down on you. Whatever it is, think about and write down why the good thing happened.
4. Do it again the following night! Keep it up. The trick is doing this regularly. Make it a habit. This is why putting a journal beside your bed is a good idea, or even keeping a note-making document open on your phone for regular editing.
5. Look back on past entries. Over time, you'll get to look back and recall good things both big and small that made you happy and can now, once again, bring a smile to your face, a week, month, or year later!
Conclusion: If you want to get happiness in your life, then write down three good things every day.
